REBLOG IF YOU WOULD LIKE SOME ANONS IN YOUR INBOX

xxxcomedy:

drlansdale:

shesgonnablow:

kentucky-jelly:

delectatiomorosa:

so apparently Dani and Erik are a real-life couple. would explain the intimacy.

Also, simultaneous orgasm(which is really goddamn rare). 

All day

Submit your own posts at www.shesgonnablow.tumblr.com

Real

www.xxxcomedy.tumblr.com

MORE VIDEOS THAN A MA FUCKER!!!!!

One: Buy condoms. Buy them and keep them with you at all times, and use them before you are asked to use them. And use them every time. The peace of mind you allow your partner will free her to be vulnerable with you, and that, my son, is exactly what sex is about. Condoms are sexy. In fact, call buying condoms foreplay.
(Footnote: If you are too embarrassed to buy condoms, you are not ready to have sex.)

Two: Kissing is not merely foreplay. Spend entire evenings making out on the couch while fully clothed. Believe me, dry-humping rocks.

Three: Sex is not just about friction. It’s about emotion. Stop trying to find her clitoris and find her heart. Because then she’ll help you find her clitoris.

Four: If you really wanna know how to please a woman, ask her how she masturbates. Then do that. A lot. If she claims she doesn’t masturbate, offer to take her shopping for a vibrator so you can both learn the vocabulary of her body together.

Five: Don’t put anything in her butthole you wouldn’t want in your own.
(Footnote: Try a pinky finger, it’s kinda awesome.)

Six: When you go down on her—and you will go down on her, and if you are my son, you will be amazing at it—tell her how good she tastes. Stop in the middle and kiss her deeply so she knows how good she tastes. Do the same when she goes down on you.

Seven: A simple Google search will yield 1,327 euphemisms for male masturbation, yet only 23 for female masturbation. If guys spent less time jacking off and more time jilling off, this world would be a happier place.

Eight: Everything you need to know about the importance of the clitoris is in the movie Star Wars. You are Luke Skywalker piloting your penis-shaped X-Wing Fighter deep inside her trench. Remember: seventy percent of all Death Stars cannot be blown up through penetration of the trench alone. It must be through focused contact with that little exhaust port at the top of the trench. Otherwise, any explosions you experience will be merely Hollywood special effects.

Nine: Just because you come doesn’t mean she has, so don’t you dare come before her. Focus completely on your partner. Don’t worry about gettin’ yours, you’re a guy. You always get yours. Your job is to make sure she’s gettin’ hers.

Ten: If sex with your partner lasts no longer than this poem, you are not making love. You are masturbating with her body instead of your hand. Shame on you. Go back to step one. You’ve got a lot of learning to do.
Love, Dad.

Big Poppa E., “How To Make Love”  (via dorkvader)

i feel like this should be published and sold everywhere

(via the-hammer-of-fenris)

Every man needs to know this!

(via taysimone5)

Hate to tell you all, but Big Poppa E is a pedophile that has been banned from slam venues throughout the country because he simply can not resist taking advantage of teenage girls and making other women feel threatened. He is a very good writer and adequate performer but DO NOT mistake this for actual goodness or wisdom or anything even remotely worthy of your adoration.

I’ve said this before when I’ve seen his work posted here and I will continue to do so because most of the people that post it are young women that have no way knowing the truth if I don’t.

(via rape-fetish)
Rough sex is the manifestation of romance. You trust someone so much that you let them do whatever they want with one thing that is yours.
(via rape-fetish)
She was free in her wildness. She was a wanderess, a drop of free water. She belonged to no man and to no city.
Roman Payne, The Wanderess (via virginwhoreofbabylon)
Reblog if you’re bored and you want anons.

image

Or non anons, whatever lifts your skirt

I just want a petite kinky girl to hang out with and do stupid cute shit with, bur also go out in the house pasture and have amazing sex until the sun rises over the bed of my truck

You have to find the right distance between people. Too close, and they overwhelm you, too far and they abandon you.

Hanif Kureishi  (via moriumi)

Anyone who reblogs this gets a personal drawing based on their blog!

daddys-rainbow-princess:

candyflosskitten:

Or if I know you, it’ll be of you in some way..

This is my Yule present to you guys <3 (yup, I’m pagan so no santa for me! Such a naughty girl)

Reblog and I’ll draw the best picture I can!

I’ll send the picture to you personally but also post it on my blog with your URL linked so it’ll kinda be a shout out too!

I love these soo much. I’ve had a couple people make me very pretty pictures already and they’re great additions to my picture page. x3

What you are in love with, what seizes your imagination will affect everything. It will decide what will get you out of bed in the mornings, what you will do with your evenings, how you spend your weekends, what you read, who you know, what breaks your heart, and what amazes you with joy and gratitude. Fall in love, stay in love, and it will decide everything.
Pedro Arrupe (via psych-facts)