so apparently Dani and Erik are a real-life couple. would explain the intimacy.
Also, simultaneous orgasm(which is really goddamn rare).
Submit your own posts at www.shesgonnablow.tumblr.com
MORE VIDEOS THAN A MA FUCKER!!!!!
(Footnote: If you are too embarrassed to buy condoms, you are not ready to have sex.)
Two: Kissing is not merely foreplay. Spend entire evenings making out on the couch while fully clothed. Believe me, dry-humping rocks.
Three: Sex is not just about friction. It’s about emotion. Stop trying to find her clitoris and find her heart. Because then she’ll help you find her clitoris.
Four: If you really wanna know how to please a woman, ask her how she masturbates. Then do that. A lot. If she claims she doesn’t masturbate, offer to take her shopping for a vibrator so you can both learn the vocabulary of her body together.
Five: Don’t put anything in her butthole you wouldn’t want in your own.
(Footnote: Try a pinky finger, it’s kinda awesome.)
Six: When you go down on her—and you will go down on her, and if you are my son, you will be amazing at it—tell her how good she tastes. Stop in the middle and kiss her deeply so she knows how good she tastes. Do the same when she goes down on you.
Seven: A simple Google search will yield 1,327 euphemisms for male masturbation, yet only 23 for female masturbation. If guys spent less time jacking off and more time jilling off, this world would be a happier place.
Eight: Everything you need to know about the importance of the clitoris is in the movie Star Wars. You are Luke Skywalker piloting your penis-shaped X-Wing Fighter deep inside her trench. Remember: seventy percent of all Death Stars cannot be blown up through penetration of the trench alone. It must be through focused contact with that little exhaust port at the top of the trench. Otherwise, any explosions you experience will be merely Hollywood special effects.
Nine: Just because you come doesn’t mean she has, so don’t you dare come before her. Focus completely on your partner. Don’t worry about gettin’ yours, you’re a guy. You always get yours. Your job is to make sure she’s gettin’ hers.
Ten: If sex with your partner lasts no longer than this poem, you are not making love. You are masturbating with her body instead of your hand. Shame on you. Go back to step one. You’ve got a lot of learning to do.
Big Poppa E., “How To Make Love” (via dorkvader)
i feel like this should be published and sold everywhere
Every man needs to know this!
Hate to tell you all, but Big Poppa E is a pedophile that has been banned from slam venues throughout the country because he simply can not resist taking advantage of teenage girls and making other women feel threatened. He is a very good writer and adequate performer but DO NOT mistake this for actual goodness or wisdom or anything even remotely worthy of your adoration.
I’ve said this before when I’ve seen his work posted here and I will continue to do so because most of the people that post it are young women that have no way knowing the truth if I don’t.(via rape-fetish)
|—||Roman Payne, The Wanderess (via virginwhoreofbabylon)|
I just want a petite kinky girl to hang out with and do stupid cute shit with, bur also go out in the house pasture and have amazing sex until the sun rises over the bed of my truck
You have to find the right distance between people. Too close, and they overwhelm you, too far and they abandon you.
Hanif Kureishi (via moriumi)